Many
Charmed Life Ceremonies couples aren’t getting married for the first time. I have
married couples this year that include children on one or both sides
of the marriage. My brides and grooms often want to include their
children in the ceremony, but aren’t sure how to do it.
Sand/Water
Ceremony
A
beautiful symbolic ceremony, the sand or water ceremony is fairly
simple. For each family member represented, or for each “side”
of the family, a color of sand or water is put into a small jar. A
larger, third jar is placed in the middle. Members of the new family
take turns pouring small amounts into the large jar. For sand
ceremonies, this created a layered sand pattern; in water ceremonies,
a new color of water is created.
The
officiant points out the symbolism of the sand or water; that before
it was poured into the third jar, the drops of water or grains of
sand were two separate things. Now, they are one, and the individual
drops or grains can’t be separated out again.
I
have used this ceremony with children as young as two and all the way
up to adult children. For young ones, sand is probably safer in case
of spills. When all the sand or water is poured in, put a lid on the
jar and keep it forever.
Family
Medallions
For
kids getting a new step-parent, the family medallion can become a
very special piece of jewelry. The parent joining the family places
the necklace around the neck of the child, promising to be a good
parent and to love the child as his/her own. A hug can seal the
deal.
The
officiant can speak about the importance of family to the couple and
talk about how the step-parent came to love the children, including
special memories.
Handfasting
Element
While
the handfasting itself ties the bride and groom together, the couple
can modify the ceremony and ask the child or children to wrap a loop
around the couple’s hands to symbolize that the kids are part of
what makes the couple a family. The children can say something
simple to welcome their new parent into their lives, if they are old
enough and not shy!
Children
in the Wedding Party
Older
children can be asked to be in the wedding party to give them a
special honor. I have seen kids of almost every age be part of the
couple’s “boys” or “girls”. Kids can be more than a flower
girl or ring bearer; they can carry special signs, be the one to hold
the bride’s bouquet, or hold the glass before the groom breaks it.
Be sure that you talk with the child about what he or she feels most
comfortable doing, and even if you have a dream in mind, respect the
child’s wishes and age-appropriate abilities. Kids may not be able
to stand still for the fifteen or twenty minutes of the ceremony, or
may be scared by all the attention. Others may totally cool,
high-five the groom after he kisses the bride, or dance down the
aisle. At Charmed Life Ceremonies, you kids will feel welcomed into your wedding.
Happy
planning!
Love,
Holly
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